To delve into a weighty topic, with such trepidation is not really my style. I’m usually the one jumping in head first at the deep end with alligators, or pit vipers. You get the idea. Weight is a sensitive issue, even in our house were Gypsy still struggles with hers. Anyways, here goes.
About 2 1/2 years ago, right after I broke up with my then girlfriend, I realized something. I was going to be a 35 year old fat dyke in 5 years. You know the ones, that are ‘fat and happy’ but cant get a date and whine about being alone. Alright wait pause on the weight issue, and into the other one that just reared its ugly head. Yes, I’m a lesbian. This in no way means I have to whole heartedly endorse every aspect of my gay and lesbian friends or our culture. I’m serious! There is a lot of sub culture in our tiny communities that is highly destructive and leads to pain and anguish. Enough of that, since that’s an issue I refuse to dig into at present.
I looked at my diet, my lifestyle and a few other things. I changed my food, and since I was living with my brother I changed his as well. Its easy to do that when your the cook. We both started to loose weight, not a lot just a pound here or there. Then I met Gypsy, and we started dating. When I moved in with Gypsy she was on a diet, so I joined her. Ummm… I actually feel bad. We both lost weight, we both looked pretty good. The path to more active lives lay right before us!
Then Gypsy tore her ACL wakeboarding, on her last run of the season. A few weeks after thanksgiving she had surgery on it, and was in bed for two weeks. When someone you love is in pain and asks for the 12 pack of mini cupcakes from Wal-Mart; you ask what kind, get in the car and go get them. You don’t say “No, luv I don’t think you need those.” Or anything of the sort. You go get them, and healthy food to hopefully offset the sugar and fat. I leveled out and didn’t loose anything during those two weeks, you cant not share mini cupcakes. Gypsy, well she didn’t fare to well. The weeks of limited activity after she was up and about didn’t help either.
Again, a diet. Not so much a diet as massive changes in our diet and exercise plans. Dog park, for Supper Puppy and us. Better food, more protein and less carbs. Nothing processed, at all! I miss my Oatmeal Cream Pies, pretty badly sometimes, but they are a treat now and not a regular thing.
I lost 75 pounds. I fit into a respectable size 8.
Back to 2 1/2 years ago, my wardrobe was mostly black, forest green and darker blues. I had decided that I needed more color, as my ex controlled my wardrobe. (I think I posted once about not writing bad things about my ex, its not polite. Lets just say it was a very controlling and bad relationship and leave it at that.) One of the first shirts I bought myself was a bright yellow Team Scotland soccer shirt. I doesn’t fit anymore, I still have it though. When I got together with Gypsy, I asked for help. I had no sense of style, or if I did I had no confidence in it. I wore guys pants and shirts, owned nothing pink and got called ‘sir’ regularly.
Oh now I have a pink t-shit that has a green glittery cactus on it that says ‘Free Hugs’, its one of my favorites. Girly jeans, nice dress pants and shorts. I own short shorts, with little rivets on the sides. For a while, until they didn’t fit anymore, my favorite pair of jeans had studs on the pockets and gold stitching. I own blues, reds, pinks, greens and I look pretty damn good in it all. I still have some boy clothing, to wear when I need to. Even though I feel comfortable in my cargo shorts and a baggy t-shirt, I love my new clothes.
Gypsy told me tonight that she felt bad for me having had a style change. She told me that she felt like she might have pushed me into it. I told her that if I didn’t like something, I wasn’t going to buy it. Much less wear it. We’ve had that discussion in the store. The ‘what about this?’ followed by my contemplation and response of ‘I don’t think I would ever wear that.’ pause…. ‘Oh, well it would look cute on you but alright.’ discussion. Some times Gypsy pushes, like the time I ended up with a blouse with a lace back. I wore it out to a party last weekend.
Let me tell you about my ego! If there is one way to make a girl feel sexy, it is a lace backed blouse and some eye makeup.